Chapter 6 – The Lord won’t divorce you, don’t worry!
Oh man, this chapter is 3500 words in Chinese! Well… this is going to be tough but anyways, good news for you readers, the next few chapters all have at least 3000 words. Hopefully I will be able to keep to the schedule!
Just a warning but I’m travelling next week so there may not be any chapters until February.
P.S Do read the author’s note. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Disclaimer: This is edited MTL. Do forgive any grammar mistakes as they are my own and not the author’s.
Yan Ke had woken up from his coma but his health was still weak, the time he spent awake was less than the time he spent sleeping.
At night, he could always feel someone covering him with a quilt.
He guessed that it probably was a man.
Because there weren’t many ladies around with enough strength to toss him around and turn him into a blanket roll.
After plodding along dazedly with his sickness for more than half a month, he finally had the strength to leave his bed.
It was a rare sunny day when Yan Ke got up. After resting for so long, he could feel that his vitality had been restored.
For the past days, he had been eating good tonics and medicines, which was how he restored his vitality.
So while the sun was shining brightly, Yan Ke who was humiliated by Meng You’s letter, prepared to personally confront him to his face and have a long conversation.
“Where is the Crown Prince?” Yan Ke was someone without a sense of direction, not to mention, every part of the Crown Prince Manor was designed in pretty much the same way.
Even after walking in circles for a long time, he still did not manage to find the Prince’s study room.
Maid: “Crown Princess, the lord is currently within the study room.”
Yan Ke: “……”
Yan Ke: “Where is the study room?”
The maid laughed, thinking that the Crown Princess who had just arrived in the Manor must be unable to find his way around and directed him: “Let this servant bring the Crown Princess over.”
Yan Ke nodded his head: “Thank you.”
Yan Ke just walked to the study room entrance and heard the sounds of Meng You flying into a rage within the room.
Meng You: “This Lord asked you to get a woman, is this so hard to accomplish?! Someone who can act! Can act!!!!! Who said this Lord wanted this type of vulgar woman? Do you know that this Lord is about to force himself on somebody already! How did this Lord employ all you useless good-for-nothings?!”
Yan Ke: “………”
Looking at the current situation, this seems like a bad time to talk about divorcing.
Based on the hot-tempered Crown Prince words, his servants must have found a woman who was unsuitable, he decided that it would be better not to enter, what if like he said, he decided to force himself on someone, what would he do then.
Just as Yan Ke prepared to escape, Meng You threw out an inkstone which flew straight towards him.
Yan Ke’s pupils dilated and subconsciously retreated a few steps.
Bro, are you serious? We are still married, and I caught you cheating, you still have the cheek to kill me?!
The maid stepped forward, and smoothly caught the flying inkstone. Looking as if nothing had happened, her eyes creased, and she asked Yan Ke while smiling: “Crown Princess, that didn’t scare you right?”
Yan Ke: “………”
Yan Ke stared stupidly at the maid, his mouth hung open for a long while.
What did he just see?!
He had done some research on Yue Kingdom’s history before arriving here, he knew that Yue Kingdom was a military country, as long there is a need, their country’s men and women, old and young would all pick up arms and enter the battlefield.
But this woman is simply too terrifying!
Leave leave leave, I must leave!
[T/N: Original text was “离”, it can mean either leaving or divorcing.]
If he still doesn’t leave, Yan Ke feels that it’s not a problem of whether he can tolerate living here but whether he can continue to stay alive here.
The maid looked at the inkstone in her hand, perplexedly watched the speechless and staggering Crown Princess who had ran away and scratched her head.
Thinking about the Crown Princess who must have misunderstood the Crown Prince’s words, the maid reported: “My Lord, the Crown Princess came by just now.”
Meng You was still angry but hearing her words, he blanked out: “He heard me?”
Maid: “Yes, every single word.”
Meng You: “………”
Meng You forehead started twitching and he glared at Tang Qi at his side who had given him such rotten ideas that dug a hole for him. The more he thought about it, the angrier he became.
“Finding a woman in front of him? Make him give up his ideas? The woman must also come from a brothel and be flirtatious?!”
Tang Qi was sipping his tea but choked from hearing Meng You’s words, muffling his laughter, he turned to Meng You.
“This Lord said it before, but you are not reliable. Finding this sort of woman! This Lord had always been bad with words but look at the situation now, I haven’t even done anything, but I already got caught. I’ll tell you this, that sickly person’s life was saved by medicine that this Lord had spent a lot of gold and silver on. If this matter causes him to attempt suicide, this Lord will hang you from his room’s beam and let you use your death to atone for this!”
Tang Qi cut in: “Don’t do that, my Lord, I would never do anything that will offend a bro’s wife.”
“In my opinion, forget about it, your individual suffering can bless thousands of Yue Kingdom civilians. Every civilian in the Yue Kingdom will remember what you have done for the country.”
Meng You kicked Tang Qi’s butt with his foot, using this practical method to tell Tang Qi how much he did not want to see him.
After Tang Qi left, it was a while before Meng You left his study room.
He passed a letter in his hands to a guard standing behind him: “Find a few people who can write well for this Lord, get them to make a few hundred copies and paste them onto the most conspicuous spot on the various palace walls and city gates, this matter must be done well for this Lord’s sake!”
Tang Qi had dug too many holes for Meng You, he finally used up the last bit of hesitance on account of their brotherhood’s sake.
[T/N: Digging holes meaning causing trouble.]
The new and old grudges have all been calculated together.
“Did he……say anything?” Meng You was grimly dealing with a series of matters, after preparing for Tang Qi’s current and posthumous matters, he began thinking of a way to solve his own situation.
[T/N: Haha Meng You is probably not serious about the posthumous part. I think…]
Yan Ke can’t die. Even though he doesn’t want to touch him, but this Yan Ke always wants to climb into his bed and consummate their marriage. This misunderstanding might have dealt a blow to Yan Ke, if he committed suicide due to the words he said, then his efforts to nurse him back to health would be wasted!
He must have had something wrong in his brain that made him believe in Tang Qi, this bastard’s words.
“Crown Princess left with a phrase of ‘Pardon my disturbance’, he looked very frightened.” The maid replied with Yan Ke’s response, trying her best to not miss out on any details.
“Ah! Also, the inkstone that you threw out almost hit the Crown Princess, this must have frightened the Crown Princess.”
Meng You: “…………”
Meng You agitatedly flipped his sleeves away and went to look for Yan Ke. He planned to carefully apologise and blame everything on Tang Qi.
[T/N: In ancient china, the people had long sleeves, so when they were angry and wanted to walk away, they would usually flip it to their back and walk off. ]
“Ah, Xiao Wu took leave today, he said that someone in his family was in trouble.”
Meng You heard this sentence, but since it didn’t sound important, he continued to walk forward.
“What’s the matter? He has been taking a lot of leave lately, if he talks about it, everyone here might be able to help him out.”
Meng You slowed his steps, he had an impression of Xiao Wu, he was a simple person who had worked here for many years. This person doesn’t like to talk to people, even if he got into trouble, he would never pretend to get close to him to make use of his power as a Crown Prince.
“Isn’t is about a man’s usual affairs? Don’t assume that just because Xiao Wu is young that everything is okay, actually that ‘area’ of him is dysfunctional, how could his newlywed wife stand the ‘loneliness’. While Xiao Wu was working in the Crown Prince Manor, I heard that his wife was having an affair with another person in the house and was caught by Xiao Wu’s mother. Currently they are still arguing about putting the adulterous couple into a pig’s cage.”
[T/N: The punishment for adulterous couples in the past was to put them into a pig’s cage and drown them.]
“Xiao Wu looks so strong and burly, that part of him actually has a problem?”
“Yeah, isn’t that surprising?”
Meng You was unable to move, he slightly bowed his head and looked at a certain part of himself.
An idea just came out from his head.
If —— he told Yan Ke that he was unable to ‘do it’, Yan Ke would probably give up on his thoughts of consummation right?
Meng You thought up to this point and his eyes lighted up. He quickened his steps towards Yan Ke’s room.
He knocked a few times on the door.
“You don’t need to open the door, this Lord is just here to tell you, this Lord isn’t consummating the marriage with you because this lord is unable to do so, that part is dysfunctional, you understand right?”
Yan Ke: “………?”
What should Lao Zi understand?! Why are you telling me that you are unable to?!
“You should understand what I mean, our Manor has a person called Xiao Wu, that part of him is also dysfunctional.”
Yan Ke finally understood which was the dysfunctional part that Meng You was referring to, he felt as if he had eaten a bug, so uncomfortable.
Roaring in his heart, what are you planning by telling me that you are unable to do it?! That tool of yours is also useless to Lao Zi!
If you have an illness, you should go treat it! Bro!
Yan Ke: “My condolences”
Meng You pensively nodded his head at the door, he quoted all the words that he heard just now without missing any of them: “Don’t assume that just because this Lord is young, strong and burly, that everything is okay, actually that ‘area’ is dysfunctional.”
Yan Ke: “………”
Meng You: “Look at Xiao Wu, he’s so strong and manly, but since the man is ‘unable to’, his wife naturally had an affair.”
Yan Ke heard this and couldn’t help laughing.
Xiao Wu was really pitful, serving a master that would gossip about his miserable situation to others.
Meng You: “This Lord has finished speaking, rest well.”
Yan Ke: “……”
Yan Ke had just seen the martial arts skill from a maid within the Crown Prince Manor, so a thought naturally appeared in his mind ‘Even a servant is so skilled, this Crown Prince should be much stronger, he probably has at least the strength required to perform the art of splitting boulders on a chest’, so his heart which was set on divorcing was suppressed in terror.
[T/N: In the past, splitting boulders on a chest was usually done by street performers to earn money. The size of the stone and axe/mallet can vary. See below for an example.]
But another thought which had only just sprouted, came out again, not only did it come out, it was also the foremost thought in his head.
This kind of stupid person should be——very easy to trick?
Thinking about this point, Yan Ke called out to Meng You who had already walked to the courtyard and threw out some emotional words.
Yan Ke: “Your Highness, I do not mind that you are unable to, I understand that when a man is unable to ‘stand’, this can be a person’s sore spot. You shouldn’t be too angry, if other people are unable to ‘stand’, it’s a stain on their life. If you are unable to ‘stand’, it means glory for your country! Think about it, since ancient times, so many emperors have fallen under the hands of beauties, in the future, you would not have the same problem, don’t you think so too?”
[T/N: Can’t stand meaning impotent.]
Meng You: “…………”
These words were too exaggerated, the people just now didn’t make a personal issue seem like a country’s issue.
Yan Ke: “So, you don’t need to worry, in life, there are always gains and losses. I would not mind it at all.”
“Losses in love mean that there would be gains in war, this Yan Ke shall wish the Lord Crown Prince in advance, to have easy battles and win in a single move.“
The corner of Meng You’s mouth turned, this sickly person’s mouth is really sweet.
Meng You: “Thank you for your blessings.”
Yan Ke listened to the tone of his voice, seems like he wasn’t angry anymore. So since an opportunity has come up from his speech containing a bunch of nonsense flattering words, he brought up his original intentions again.
Yan Ke: “Even though you are unable to, but you should understand how thirsty a man can be, right? I really don’t mind that you are unable to, but I am unable to control my urges. If in the future I am caught entering a brothel, giving you a green hat, this would be quite bad. So, we should——”
[T/N: Giving a green hat means cheating on the person.]
Yan Ke had not finished his words before he was interrupted by Meng You with a black face.
Meng You wrinkled his eyebrows: “Why don’t you understand? I already said that this Lord is unable to! Why are you always thinking about consummating our marriage? This Lord is unable to, so how can this Lord consummate our marriage?! You can find another lover, you are free to do so! This Lord guarantees that I wouldn’t let you follow the fate of Xiao Wu’s wife, to be pulled into a pig’s cage.”
Yan Ke: “………”
Yan Ke weakly covered his face, was this an insurmountable communication gap between an ancient and modern person?
When I am also fucking talking about divorce, he always thinks that I am shaking my ass and asking for an impossible thing.
The summer breeze blew, the wind cleared Meng You’s mind. Suddenly shivering, he regretted everything.
He must have been so angered from Yan Ke’s stubbornness, that he became sick!
Meng You looked left and right and walked back to the door, lowering his voice: “How about this, when you are looking for a lover, you must be sneaky and maintain a low profile, when cheating, you must be smart. Don’t let other people find out and be careful, do you understand?
Yan Ke lifelessly responded: “Okay.”
I fucking thank you for your nobleness in teaching Lao Zi how to cheat on you!
Meng You: “This Lord won’t divorce you, don’t worry!”
When Meng You said that line, his heart was in pain.
Our divorce really can’t happen. At least while Chu Country is still towering over their heads, it really can’t happen. After all, Yan Ke’s royal father’s edict is still being displayed in a prominent spot within his own royal father’s study room, reminding him of the purpose behind this marriage.
It was precisely because of this reason that Meng You felt Chu Kingdom’s might and power had forced him into this situation.
Yan Ke cried: “You really won’t consider it?”
I fucking can’t not worry at all!!!
Author has something to say:
Meng You: This Lord is Yue Kingdom’s Crown Prince, I can perform literary arts, martial arts and I have great ambition!
Yan Ke: You can’t stand.
Meng You: This lord is 188cm, 18cm
Yan Ke: You can’t stand.
Meng You: This Lord will inherit the country in the future!
Yan Ke: You can’t stand.
The Crown Prince lifted the Crown Princess and threw him on the bed……